In a vibrant affirmation of diverse love, Robin (they/them), Voltaire (they/them), and Valentina (she/her) recently celebrated their union in a free, community-supported wedding hosted by the Brooklyn nonprofit Pride Grows in Brooklyn. Their unique ceremony, characterized by circle seating, a symbolic broom jump, and a reading from a seminal 1977 queer utopian fable, unfolded with an ethos of "as ostentatious as comfortable," culminating in a joyful reception shared with another queer couple. This event not only marked a profound personal milestone for the throuple but also served as a significant beacon for polyamorous visibility and the evolving landscape of modern relationships.
The genesis of this triad began in the digital sphere, a common starting point for many contemporary relationships. Robin, Voltaire, and Valentina independently encountered each other on OkCupid around the same period. What initially developed as two distinct courtships—Robin and Voltaire, and Robin and Valentina—organically converged into a singular, interconnected relationship. This natural evolution underscored the fluidity and depth of their burgeoning bond. As their commitment deepened, the opportunity arose when Pride Grows in Brooklyn, an organization dedicated to fostering queer community and supporting LGBTQ+ individuals, announced its annual free wedding giveaway. Seizing this chance, the throuple applied and ultimately secured the coveted prize, setting in motion a whirlwind two-month planning period that culminated in a day filled with queer love and joyous celebration. Following their vows, the trio now affectionately refers to each other as spouse, esposita, espositê, and, with a touch of wit, Robin occasionally dubs their dynamic a "love triangle."
Pride Grows in Brooklyn plays a pivotal role in the local LGBTQ+ community, championing inclusivity and celebrating diverse forms of love. Their annual wedding giveaway is a testament to this mission, offering a fully sponsored wedding to queer couples who might otherwise face financial or logistical barriers. In a progressive move that reflected the organization’s commitment to broad inclusivity, this year’s event was designed to accommodate not one, but two couples: Robin, Voltaire, and Valentina, alongside Emilyn and Shellz. The chosen venue, Carroll Hall’s verdant garden space, provided an idyllic and intimate backdrop for the ceremonies and subsequent joint reception. The nonprofit meticulously handled the majority of vendor coordination, streamlining a process that can often be overwhelming, especially within a compressed timeframe. This facilitated an experience where the marriers could focus on the emotional significance of their day, even if, as Robin humorously noted, the "small taste" of remaining vendor chats was "PLENTY."
With only two months’ notice, the preparations for the triple wedding were intensive, a testament to the organizational prowess of Pride Grows in Brooklyn and the adaptability of the marriers. The event was thoughtfully structured to honor each couple’s journey, featuring separate, personalized ceremonies followed by a communal reception that brought all five individuals and their guests together in a grand celebration. The dress code, famously articulated by Robin as "as ostentatious as comfortable," encouraged profound personal expression, allowing each individual to embody their authentic self on their wedding day.
The attire of the throuple was a vibrant reflection of their individual styles and collective spirit. Voltaire showcased their sartorial skills by hand-sewing their own cream wide-leg trousers, which they paired with a stunning floral ring from Miriam Bloom Designs and a distinctive rainbow ribbon lei, a symbol of welcome and celebration. Robin, assisted by their sister, embarked on the ambitious project of hand-sewing their own suit—a pale lilac-silver satin top and matching wide-leg trousers. Despite a valiant effort, the pants, alas, succumbed to the festivities post-ceremony, necessitating a quick change into a backup outfit for the reception. Robin also wore a lei, crafted from fragrant leaves and fresh orchids, a cherished tradition shared by their best friend from Hawai’i. Valentina embraced a gothic romance aesthetic, donning a floor-length black lace gown with sheer draping sleeves and matching lace gloves, complemented by dramatic eye makeup and a striking bouquet featuring pale pink and white florals accented by deep red amaranthus, creating an unexpected yet appreciated visual exclamation point. The officiant, Angel, further enhanced the day’s eclectic fashion with a "gender-bent formal look," while guests embraced the "ostentatious as comfortable" directive, contributing to a truly visually rich and diverse gathering.
The ceremony itself was a deeply personal and communally focused affair. Eschewing traditional rows, guests were seated in a loose circle, fostering an intimate atmosphere where everyone was visible and connected, mirroring the inclusive spirit of the union. Each member of the triad made a distinct entrance, symbolizing their individual journeys converging into a shared path: Robin was escorted by their sister, Voltaire by their mother, and Valentina by her sister and best friend. As they walked, Robin leaned on a wooden cane, adorned with a floral crown, while Voltaire wore a sheer black lace veil over a cascade of cowrie shells and rainbow beaded strands, layered over their brocade suit.
A poignant moment arrived with a reading from The Faggots and Their Friends Between Revolutions, a 1977 queer utopian fable by Larry Mitchell and illustrated by Ned Asta. This choice underscored the throuple’s connection to queer history and their vision for a liberated future. Following this, the trio exchanged heartfelt vows. Robin’s vows eloquently captured their appreciation for each partner: to Voltaire, they spoke of shared care, watching water flow, and hands-on transformation; to Valentina, they acknowledged her nurturing presence and their desire to build solace together. The ceremony concluded with a symbolic broom jump, a tradition of African origin brought by Voltaire’s mother, signifying a leap into a new life together. Instead of a kiss, the triad shared tender nuzzles, exiting to the celebratory strains of upbeat orchestral rock, a testament to their unique and joyful union.
The shared reception was a lively affair, meticulously curated to blend the tastes of both marring couples. DJ Mona skillfully navigated this challenge, crafting an eclectic yet harmonious set that seamlessly wove together deep cuts and crowd-pleasers from the diverse musical preferences of Robin, Voltaire, Valentina, Emilyn, and Shellz. The dance floor ignited with energy as the couples took their first dances: Robin, Voltaire, and Valentina grooved to "Freaks" by Haute and Freddy, while Emilyn and Shellz opted for a classic R&B ballad. Brief, heartfelt speeches from Voltaire and Emilyn expressed gratitude to Pride Grows in Brooklyn, the venue, and their cherished guests, setting a tone of appreciation and community.
The culinary offerings were light yet satisfying, featuring an array of hors d’oeuvres, crudités, and mostly vegetarian options, complemented by a well-stocked bar serving wine and canned beer. Robin particularly recalled a memorable salmon bagel bite and an excellent cheese. However, the true highlight of the reception’s gastronomic journey was the dessert: a surprising total of four cakes. Emilyn and Shellz enjoyed a classic lemon with blackberry, while the throuple indulged in chocolate with raspberry. Adding to the delightful excess, the generous cake vendor provided two additional, unprompted seven-layer cookie cakes—one adorned with rainbow icing, the other proudly displaying the colors of the trans flag, symbolizing broader queer inclusivity. Robin, reflecting on the day’s pace, humorously noted that their parents’ adage—a wedding day is the most fun but the least food you’ll eat—held true, a small plate of vegetables and alcohol arriving around 3 PM after a 9 AM start.
Beyond the food and music, the reception tables offered engaging and thoughtful details. Pride Grows in Brooklyn had designed a custom crossword puzzle, printed on a rainbow gradient board, inviting guests to delve into the throuple’s origin story with clues like OKCUPID, TWENTYTWENTY, TRIAD, BROOKLYN, COMMUNITY, and PRIDEGROWS. Adjacent to this, a collection of pronoun and pride pinback buttons was freely available, fostering an environment of affirmation and respect for gender identity. Each table was also adorned with an amber glass vessel holding a vibrant arrangement of yellow zinnias, chartreuse pompom mums, and sprigs of mint, beside a mercury glass votive and a fanned-out tarot deck prominently displaying the Ten of Cups—a card symbolizing emotional fulfillment and harmonious relationships. A framed note from the PGIB team underscored the celebratory nature of the event, thanking guests for honoring "these extraordinary marriers." Even the wedding invitations themselves hinted at the unique celebration, described as a "gothic wedding invitation suite for a polyamorous triad wedding ceremony featuring Voltaire C. Hardy, Robin Selavy, and Valentina A. Valdeon at Carroll Hall Brooklyn NY on July 26 2026, dark romantic stationery with skull and heart motifs in burgundy and gold with sage green envelope liner," a striking blend of aesthetics and personal declaration.
The day’s seamless flow was significantly attributed to the exceptional work of photographer Bailey Q. Her role extended far beyond capturing images; she acted as a dynamic director, efficiently managing group photos under tight deadlines, creatively arranging flat lays of personal objects during quiet moments, and orchestrating striking portraits against a graffiti-laden alley wall. Remarkably, Bailey Q also led an hour-long intermediate yoga session for both couples during their venue walkthrough, providing a calming and unique introduction to both the space and her vibrant personality. Her multifaceted contribution ensured that every moment, from the intimate to the grand, was beautifully documented.
Reflecting on the entire experience, Robin offered poignant insights into the nature of wedding planning and polyamorous relationships. They observed that even a wedding as unique as theirs, planned on a tight two-month schedule, ultimately shared common logistical challenges with any small wedding under pressure. The profound realization, however, was that the capacity to love more than one person simultaneously did not exempt them from the universal wedding day truism of barely having time to eat—a shared human experience regardless of the number of individuals at the altar. Robin also clarified the nuanced terminology they use to describe their union, embracing "triad, trio, throuple," alongside terms like "spouse, wife, partner, lover, beloved," and multilingual variations like "esposita y espositê." The playful "love triangle" is reserved for witty moments. They further distinguished "polycule" as a broader term, encompassing "the total constellation of platonic BFFs, mentors, lovers, comets, hook ups, and 20yo activists we temporarily adopt," highlighting the expansive nature of their chosen family and community.
This groundbreaking wedding in Brooklyn represents far more than just a personal celebration; it stands as a significant cultural marker for the growing visibility and acceptance of polyamorous relationships within mainstream society and the broader LGBTQ+ movement. As discussions around diverse family structures and non-traditional partnerships continue to evolve, events like this serve to normalize and affirm forms of love that historically have been marginalized or misunderstood. While legal recognition for polyamorous unions remains a complex and evolving frontier, the public celebration of Robin, Voltaire, and Valentina’s commitment, supported by a prominent queer nonprofit, sends a powerful message of inclusion and legitimacy. It underscores the idea that love, commitment, and family can manifest in myriad forms, challenging conventional narratives and expanding the collective understanding of what it means to be married. This Brooklyn union is a testament to love’s boundless capacity and the enduring strength of community in forging new paths forward.
